This is such a perfect package of a piece, Harriet, and I'm incredibly moved by the moments you share. The shop floor, the open conversations at the dinner party. Oh my, I can feel those spaces and understand exactly just how powerful it can be to just let someone else take the weight. Those small exchanges are incredibly powerful, actually. They offer us a choice to make – lean in and feel momentarily bonded to another human or lean away and find ourselves more isolated.
I often lean away but this morning, when I dropped a whole packet of blueberries on the shop floor in Sainsbury's, I had no choice really but to let the kind man with the dustpan and brush come and help me. I apologised for being so clumsy and he was jocular, telling me that this was far better a clean-up job than the one he'd already attended to. A glass bottle of olive oil. And the other day, red wine. This was nothing. Someone else fetched me a replacement pack and as I paid, still apologising, they both said versions of "Don't mention it. Go and have a lovely day."
When we can help lighten someone's load, or they offer to do the same for us it's an invitation to empathy. I'm going to remember this piece, I know it.
I think I've learned that it's almost these micro moments that stay with us the most. Those times when someone offers to help when they didn't have to, but they wanted to, or because in my case, it's literally my job to help you. I often reflect though on how so often I've been the customer determined to hold all my things, politely reject offers of help. I'm learning how freeing it can be to simply say, 'oh thank you, that would be great'. I figure if we get used to leaning into these small moments of accepting help we might be able to learn to get used to accepting help with the bigger stuff too...maybe. And I'm glad you had help with your blueberries. I know I enjoy helping people, I get as much out of it as the customer does. This transference of energy works both ways and spreads....
Oh Harriet, I'm only getting round to reading your beautiful, moving piece now, and it's finding me at just the right time! So much I relate to, as your words make me realise that I've been holding too much too lately. Thank you, I'm so grateful for your siren song xx
Oh thank you Annette, I love how these posts emerge organically from my head and seem to connect with how others are feeling. It will never cease being a joy and a nudge to keep going to know that somehow I’ve hit on something that resonates 💚
Ah, thank you so much Tali. It’s good to pause and reflect, it’s a never ending journey but one that I can see I’m making progress on, and that’s all I want 😊
This is such a perfect package of a piece, Harriet, and I'm incredibly moved by the moments you share. The shop floor, the open conversations at the dinner party. Oh my, I can feel those spaces and understand exactly just how powerful it can be to just let someone else take the weight. Those small exchanges are incredibly powerful, actually. They offer us a choice to make – lean in and feel momentarily bonded to another human or lean away and find ourselves more isolated.
I often lean away but this morning, when I dropped a whole packet of blueberries on the shop floor in Sainsbury's, I had no choice really but to let the kind man with the dustpan and brush come and help me. I apologised for being so clumsy and he was jocular, telling me that this was far better a clean-up job than the one he'd already attended to. A glass bottle of olive oil. And the other day, red wine. This was nothing. Someone else fetched me a replacement pack and as I paid, still apologising, they both said versions of "Don't mention it. Go and have a lovely day."
When we can help lighten someone's load, or they offer to do the same for us it's an invitation to empathy. I'm going to remember this piece, I know it.
I think I've learned that it's almost these micro moments that stay with us the most. Those times when someone offers to help when they didn't have to, but they wanted to, or because in my case, it's literally my job to help you. I often reflect though on how so often I've been the customer determined to hold all my things, politely reject offers of help. I'm learning how freeing it can be to simply say, 'oh thank you, that would be great'. I figure if we get used to leaning into these small moments of accepting help we might be able to learn to get used to accepting help with the bigger stuff too...maybe. And I'm glad you had help with your blueberries. I know I enjoy helping people, I get as much out of it as the customer does. This transference of energy works both ways and spreads....
Oh Harriet, I'm only getting round to reading your beautiful, moving piece now, and it's finding me at just the right time! So much I relate to, as your words make me realise that I've been holding too much too lately. Thank you, I'm so grateful for your siren song xx
Oh thank you Annette, I love how these posts emerge organically from my head and seem to connect with how others are feeling. It will never cease being a joy and a nudge to keep going to know that somehow I’ve hit on something that resonates 💚
Thank you for sharing this beautiful vulnerable journey with us. XX
Ah, thank you so much Tali. It’s good to pause and reflect, it’s a never ending journey but one that I can see I’m making progress on, and that’s all I want 😊
I agree, it is a journey and you are charting a clear course for yourself. I strengthen your hands my friend.
Beautiful, as always ❤️
Thank you, it was one of those start with a word and the shadow of an idea and see what happens but I enjoyed writing. Thank you for reading!
Thank you for writing it (and for keeping that 'feelings wheel' up on your fridge! :))
Gosh, Harriet, so aware of holding onto so much and asking where can I put that down? Thank you for this gorgeous piece xo
Always holding, always offering to carry for others. At some point we need to work out how we can lighten our load. Sending love, Hx