World Cancer Day - what does it mean to you?

What does world cancer day mean to you? Sometimes these awareness days can pass you by, other times they trigger a thought. A memory.

This photo was taken in Kensington Gardens c. 1996. My niece is in the buggy and we’d be left in charge while her parents - my sister and her husband - had a couple of nights away. 

This year mum popped into my head. That’s a lie actually because she’s always in my head. She’s not here in person but boy I can still feel her presence.

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She had melanoma. A silent ultimately deadly cancer that spread, stealth like through her body. Little by little over a few years, without us really knowing what was happening. No big clues to tell us how serious it was. 

Or maybe I just didn’t ask the right questions, too wrapped up in my own chaotic world. 

There was no big diagnosis day. No tell-tale signs of chemo hair loss and radiography tattoos.

It happened in small, short stages. Surgery, immunotherapy. 

I was never quite sure what we were dealing with, how serious it was. Until of course, that last week.

Her death came sooner than I think any of us could have predicted. And I still find it hard to get a handle on it

A final appointment & scan on a Monday, or was it a Tuesday and the news that it was everywhere. She died the following Sunday.

It’s like she faded, quietly disappearing from life until she died May 2015, aged 73. A quiet death, in contrast with her chatty personality. Healthy, other than the cancer. 

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And she had such talent, even though she spent a lot of her life doubting herself. A funny blend of self-doubt blended with often strident, strong opinions on people, situations. 

She was a force of nature. She loved music, art, people, books. She was endlessly interested in the world around her. 

There is no lesson here, I don’t think. It’s just the first time I’ve really written about her and cancer but I have a feeling it won’t be the last.